So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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