sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it because I queefed?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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