Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
