If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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