once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
