Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
