i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
