I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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