walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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