before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
