I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
God, I missed his penis.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
