we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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