come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
