nut hugger
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pants are for mortals
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