I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
