doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
