at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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