I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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