You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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