Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
