Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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