why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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