Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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