Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
