you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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