Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize