im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
