Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
