now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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