I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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