i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
