He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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