If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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