honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
