HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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