the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
