jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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