Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
