These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
