only if we run a train.
done.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Let's get the cat blown out
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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