I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
