Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
