Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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