bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
