just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
