i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize