so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
