goodnight i made you a song goodbye
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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