I just cut my nipple shaving
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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