She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Still dying that you shit outside
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
