Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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