I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The beer is more important than you right now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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