Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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