honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
