I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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