ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
