I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
