i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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