dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
