I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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