Define "chronic" masturbator.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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