Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Non-Jews are for practice
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
