I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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