Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
