maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
